Useful Resource Booklets
Married for Life Introduction
Mike and Marilyn Phillipps’s marriage was such a disaster that every counsellor they saw told them divorce was the only answer. Yet Jesus had a better plan! The Lord healed their marriage and gave them a course we now call Married for Life. And, although through the passing years that course has changed some in length and content, the life-giving principles that He imparted to them in 1983 have never changed. They are as alive and powerful today as when that first group of seven couples met in a home and embarked on that first adventure with Him. We have seen millions of marriages transformed around the world.
Welcome to Married for Life
Ever since God healed our “impossible” marriage many years ago, it has been the desire of our hearts to share with other couples the healing and restorative power of God’s Word. The Bible not only contains the prescription for the healing of broken marriages, it is also the source of God’s vision and blueprint for all marriages. Married for Life is enabling couples across our nation and around the world to be reached with this exciting news concerning marriage. Marriage was intended by God to be a vibrant, dynamic state of ever-deepening love and growth. With God’s direction we can truly go from “glory to glory” in our life together as husband and wife. Married for Life is recapturing God’s heart for His people in an area in which the world has totally lost the vision – marriage. An army of couples is emerging around the world. Couples with God’s vision in their hearts and His weapons in their hands. Couples who know victory in Jesus and are prepared to share it with others. Marriages have been under attack for long enough. Now they are becoming a powerful offensive force. Come, discover the power!
With grateful hearts to Jesus.
Mike and Marilyn Phillipps (Founding Directors 2=1)
Married for Life
Official Curriculum of 2=1 International
Married for Life Video Format
Original Married for Life material copyright © 1983 by 2=1 International.
Video format copyright © 2017 by 2=1
International.
http://www.2equal1.com
2=1 International Headquarters
12081 W Alameda Pkwy, Suite 493
Lakewood, CO 80228
All rights reserved. Written permission must be secured from the
publishers to utilize any part of this manual for any purpose other
than conducting of authorized 2=1 International courses.
Unless otherwise indicated, all scripture references are taken from
the New King James Version®. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson.
Used by permission. All rights reserved.
The NKJ is a modern language update of the original King James
Version. It retains much of the traditional interpretation and sentence
structure of the
KJV.
Scripture quotations marked (NIV) are taken from the Holy Bible,
New International Version®, NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984,
2011 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights
reserved worldwide. http://www.zondervan.com The “NIV” and “New
International Version” are trademarks registered in the United States
Patent and Trademark Office by Biblica, Inc.™
Weekly Life Application
This Journal is a companion to each of the 12 sessions of Married for Life. It contains seven days of interaction between you as husband and wife following each session.
Life Applications are important to continue what the Lord is ministering to you during each session.
They are short and flexible so that you can take as much or as little time as you like doing them together.
We recommend you set aside a time each day to spend together sharing the Life Application. Answering the questions may spark new thoughts or ideas that you may like to continue discussing.
The goal of Life Application is to encourage you to spend time together sharing what the Lord is speaking to each of you.
Enjoy the journey!
GETTING THE MOST OUT OF IT
It is said that people learn the most when they are learning to feed themselves. Life Application is designed for you to spend time with the Holy Spirit as a couple, learning to feed yourselves from His Word.
Each day you will have the opportunity as a couple to read a scripture and to hear more in depth what the Holy Spirit is saying. There are questions for you to consider together, but be open to the Holy Spirit speaking other things to you as well. Practice hearing from Him together.
LOOK FOR THE FOUR
Look at the four graphics below. As you daily read each scripture, see if any of these apply to what you read. Make a note of what you received on that day’s Life Application.
Light Bulb
You received new revelation or something that you had never seen before.
Question Mark
You have a question or need something in the scripture clarified.
Arrow
Something in the scripture pierced your heart or convicted you.
Ear
You received something that you want to share with someone else.
Share with each other what you get. Then share with the others when you meet again if you are doing this in a group. They may learn from what you share and you may learn from what they share. It is always a blessing to hear what the Holy Spirit is speaking to and through the whole group.
This method of studying scripture was developed by Tony and Felicity Dale, founders of House to House.
Session 1 – Seven Days of Covenant Power
Day 1
Begin this journal by sharing with each other one thing that you appreciated about your spouse when you met.
Wife
Husband
If a man makes a vow to the Lord, or swears an oath to bind himself by some agreement, he shall not break his word;
he shall do according to all that proceeds out of his mouth. Numbers 30:2
How does most of society look at wedding vows?
How does God see them?
How do you see them now?
Day 2
Begin today by sharing with each other one thing that you appreciated about your spouse when you were dating.
Wife
Husband
As for Me, behold, My covenant is with you, and you shall be a father of many nations. Genesis 17:4
God made a covenant with Abraham, but Abraham grew impatient and didn’t perform correctly.
How did God react to his failure?
What does contract mentality say about performance?
What does covenant commitment say about failure?
Day 3
Begin today by sharing with each other one thing that you appreciated about your spouse when you decided to marry.
Wife
Husband
For the mountains shall depart and the hills be removed, but My kindness shall not depart from you, nor shall My covenant of peace be removed,” Says the Lord, who has mercy on you. Isaiah 54:10
God keeps His word when He makes a covenant. Through Jesus we have been redeemed to full relationship with our Father and we share His nature.
What does this mean when we enter into a covenant?
Why do you think people see their faithfulness to covenant as optional?
What do you believe it tells the world about God when Christians break covenant?
Day 4
Share with each other something that you appreciated about your spouse when you were first married.
Wife
Husband
When you make a vow to God, do not delay to pay it; For He has no pleasure in fools. Pay what you have vowed—Better not to vow than to vow and not pay. Ecclesiastes 5:4-5
What vows did you make to each other on your wedding day?
No doubt you have faced difficult times in your marriage. Did you remember your vows as you faced those times?
Keeping covenant allows God’s power to address our issues.
We cannot overcome on sheer will power. Share with each other what that means to you.
Day 5
Begin today by sharing with each other another thing that you appreciated about your spouse during your first years of marriage.
Wife
Husband
Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. Genesis 2:24
Leaving father and mother and cleaving to each other is an essential part of the success of marriage.
Talk about your leaving of parents.
Do you feel you have done this well? Remember, you still have relationship with your parents.
You just place your primary relationship together over your secondary relationship with your parents.
How about cleaving? Have you forsaken previous relationships that might interfere with your marriage? Do you feel you are growing closer as time goes on or are you drifting a bit?
Day 6
Share with each other something that you appreciate about your spouse now.
Wife
Husband
So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. Then God blessed them, and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it; have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over every living thing that moves on the earth.” Genesis 1:27,28
Do you know what your assignment from God is?
If so, are you moving more into that assignment as days go by or are you putting things off until a more opportune time?
If not, now is the time to begin asking Him for His plan for you.
Day 7
What do you appreciate most about your spouse today?
Wife
Husband
Jesus said to him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me.” John 14:6
Have you each received Jesus as your Lord and Savior? Perhaps you cannot remember a specific time that you asked
Jesus to be Lord of your life. Or perhaps you have gone to church all your life and have known about Jesus, but do not know Him personal- ly. He is real! He wants a personal relationship with you. If you would like to make that a reality today, say the following prayer out loud to Him. Romans 10:9 says, “If you confess with your mouth, ‘Jesus is Lord’, and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved.”
Jesus, I recognize that there is no way that I can earn forgiveness for my sins. I receive what You did for me on the cross of Calvary. I ask You to forgive all my sins and I receive You as my Lord and my Savior today. Take over my life, Lord, and I will follow You as You lead. I renounce my old way of life and any sinful hold it had on me. I love You, Jesus, and I believe that I am now legally a member of Your family and a resident in Your kingdom. Jesus, You are my Lord! Please fill me with your Holy Spirit now. Amen
If you have prayed this prayer, you are now born again. Your spirit has come to life in Jesus and every covenant promise is now yours. As a final step to seal this agreement before God and man, sign your name below and put today’s date. If doubt ever surfaces again, look back to this date and remember it is accomplished.
Date
Husband
Wife
Dear Father, You made marriage to be a lifelong covenant between husband and wife, with You in the center of this wonderful journey. Please meet us where we are and bring us into the fullness of covenant with You through Jesus, Your Son, and with each other. Please teach, guide and cover us with Your unfailing love. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
Look for the four
Coming up in Session 2
What does it mean to become one? How does that compare to other meaningful relationships?
Do we have to give up who we are as individuals?
Session 2 – Seven Days of 2=1 Power
Day 1
Begin today by sharing with each other one thing about your spouse that was special to you when you met.
Wife
Husband
Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. Genesis 2:24
Why do you think leaving father and mother is important?
Why do you think “being joined” comes after leaving?
Talk about ways you can show love and honor to your parents, while still keeping your marriage relationship just between the two of you.
Day 2
Today share with each other one thing that was special to you about your spouse when you were dating.
Wife
Husband
…and the two shall become one flesh. This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Ephesians 5:31-32
If the relationship of Jesus and the Church is the role model for marriage, what does that mean to you as a married couple?
Why do you think scripture says it is a mystery?
Share with each other what being one means to you.
Day 3
Begin again today by sharing with each other one thing that was special to you about your spouse when you decided to marry.
Wife
Husband
Then God blessed them, and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it; have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over every living thing that moves on the earth.” Genesis 1:28
When God created man and woman He gave them the command to have dominion over everything that moves on the earth.
What does that mean to you in your life today?
What is the full significance to you to be fruitful and multiply?
Is there anything else that this scripture speaks to you personally?
Day 4
Share with each other something that was special to you about your spouse when you first married.
Wife
Husband
..and He died for all, that those who live should live no longer for themselves, but for Him who died for them and rose again. 2 Corinthians 5:15
Today’s culture places great importance on self. What does this scripture say about how we should live?
Although this scripture says “He died for all”, what do you think the phrase “those who live” means?
Since Jesus purchased our life for us, what do you think it means to no longer live for ourselves?
Day 5
Begin today by sharing with each other another thing that was special about your spouse when you were first married.
Wife
Husband
For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it. Matthew 16:25
Since Jesus purchased our life for us with His death and resurrection, do you think He has the right to speak into how we spend it?
Jesus is not talking about dying, but about the way we live. What do you think He means by “loses his life for My sake”?
What do you think it means to desire to save one’s life?
Day 6
Share with each other something that is special about your spouse now.
Wife
Husband
And Jesus went about all Galilee, teaching in their synagogues, preaching the gospel of the kingdom. Matthew 4:23
If you were asked today to preach the gospel of the Kingdom, what would you say?
How does the scripture, “Seek first the Kingdom of God…and all these things will be added to you (Matthew 6:33)” manifest in your life?
As a couple, what would be perfectly normal ways to share with others about what the Kingdom of God offers to them?
Day 7
What is special to you about your spouse today?
Wife
Husband
Some Principles of the Kingdom
- The last shall be first and the first shall be last.
- Those who would be great must be a servant to all.
- Whoever exalts himself will be humbled and he who humbles himself will be exalted.
- Bless those who curse you and pray for those who spitefully use you.
- Whoever desires to save his life must lose it and whoever loses his life for My sake will find it.
- Give and it will be given unto you.
Pick one or two of these principles and share with each other what you find inspirational and/or what you see as a major challenge in your life personally.
Dear Father, the world says to think of self first but when we marry and become one, the desire of Your heart is for us to gain great joy in our oneness. Help us to love You and to love our spouse. We ask to experience Your wonderful plan for oneness; Your great mystery that you blessed marriage to be-spirit, soul and body. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.
Look for the four
Coming up in Session 3
What are the roles of Jesus and His
Church?
How do they apply to husband and wife?
What happens when we take on each other’s roles?
Response to ability
Session 3 – Seven Days of Synergistic Power
Day 1
Share with each other something else that you appreciated about each other when you met.
Wife
Husband
So ought men to love their own wives as their own bodies. He that loves his wife, loves himself. For no man yet ever hated his own flesh but nourished and cherished it, even as the Lord the church. Ephesians 5:28-29
Husband: Why do you think God tells men to love their wives as they love themselves?
Can you think of some ways Jesus shows us love when we don’t deserve it?
How does it feel to have Jesus as your role model?
Day 2
Begin today by sharing with each other something that you appreciated about each other when you were dating.
Wife
Husband
Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. Ephesians 5:33
Wife: After God tells your husband to love you, He tells you to respect your husband. Why do you think He asks that of wives?
Does His command carry a condition that your husband be worthy of respect?
What do you think respect does for a man?
Day 3
Share with each other something else that you appreciated about each other when you decided to marry.
Wife Husband
Though He was God, He did not think of equality with God as something to cling to. Instead He gave up His divine privileges, He took the humble position of a slave and was born as a human being. Philippians 2:6-7
What do you think compelled Jesus to do this?
Do you think Jesus understands what we face as men and women on this earth? Why or why not?
Share with each other what you see as the difference between divine privilege and slavery.
Day 4
Share with each other something else that you appreciated about each other when you first married.
Wife Husband
Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.” Genesis 2:18
Why was it not good for man to be alone?
What do you think God meant by “a helper who is just right for him”?
Why do you think God made this statement some time after He had created the man?
Day 5
Begin again today by sharing with each other one thing that you appreciated about each other in your first years of marriage.
Wife Husband
Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are My disciples. John 13:35
Do you think that marriage shows the world that we are His disciples?
What kind of love do you think He was talking about here?
Do you think there is a connection between how the world views Christian marriages and how eager they are to give their lives to Jesus?
Day 6
Share with each other something that you appreciate about each other now.
Wife Husband
Submit yourselves then to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. James 4:7
In light of this scripture, what seems to be the answer to the enemy’s attacks in our lives?
What does it mean to you to submit yourself to God?
And, how do you interpret resisting the devil?
Day 7
What do you appreciate most about your spouse today?
Wife
Husband
What is your favorite Gospel?
Husband: What have you learned about your role of husband by reading about Jesus in that Gospel?
Wife: What have you learned about your role of wife by reading about the Church in that Gospel?
Dear Father, Your Word says that marriage is a picture of Jesus’ relationship with the church. Please help us Lord. We know Your plans are not only perfect but wonderful and for our benefit. Teach us as we walk through the process and grow in our own roles that will truly bring abundant life to our marriage. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
Look for the four
Coming up in Session 4
Ever wonder how something got started in your relationship?
Is it possible to change negative patterns?
What you do today creates your tomorrow?
A harvest is guaranteed!
Session 4 – Seven
Days of Sowing and Reaping Power
Day 1
Share with each other one thing you found you both enjoyed doing when you first met.
Wife
Husband
Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. Galatians 6:7
Why would not believing this mock God?
Does this scripture put any limitations on what type of sowing or when or where?
What does this mean to you personally for your everyday life?
Day 2
Begin again today by sharing with each other one thing that you enjoyed doing together when you were dating.
Wife
Husband
Let’s not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Galatians 6:9
Why do we become “weary in doing good” if we don’t see results right away?
What do you think determines “the proper time”?
What do you think giving up looks like?
Day 3
Begin again today by sharing with each another thing that you enjoyed doing together when you were dating.
Wife
Husband
This day I call heaven and earth as witnesses against you, that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses; now choose life, so that you and your children may live. Deuteronomy 30:19
Why do you think God gives us a choice?
Why does God have heaven and earth serve as witnesses?
What does this scripture say about the generational effect of our choices?
Day 4
Share with each other one thing that you planned to enjoy doing together when you married.
Wife
Husband
For those who live as their human nature tells them to have their minds controlled by what human nature wants. Those who live as the Spirit tells them to have their minds con- trolled by what the Spirit wants. Romans 8:5
What does this statement say about things like diets or other ways of controlling the flesh?
Notice this scripture does not say “influenced” but uses the word “controlled”. What does that say to you?
How can you change what controls you?
Day 5
Begin today by sharing one thing that you enjoyed doing together when you were first married.
Wife
Husband
There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, who walk not according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit. Romans 8:1
We hear the first part of this scripture quoted often, but what does the second half say about being free from condemnation?
We often hear people say that someone is putting condemnation on them. What does this scripture say about that?
If we are justifying something in our life that scripture tells us is sin and are even adamant that it was God who told us to do it, will we battle condemnation? Why or why not?
Day 6
Share with each other one thing that you enjoyed doing together during your first years of marriage.
Wife
Husband
Where envy and strife is there is confusion and every evil work. James 3:16
Why do you think strife is such a door opener to every evil work?
Once words are spoken, they are out there and cannot be retrieved. They set in motion so much more. Talk about that.
Have you utilized a Strife Break when there is strife between you? (Three minutes praying in the spirit) When you do, make a note here of what happens.
Day 7
What is one thing that you enjoy doing together now?
Wife
Husband
Now He who supplies seed to the sower and bread for food will also supply and increase your store of seed and will enlarge the harvest of your righteousness. 2 Corinthians 9:10
Do we ever need to fear we can sow too much of a good thing?
If that is the case, why do we think things like “I’ve given too much” or “I don’t have any more love to give”?
Who is responsible for creating a bigger harvest?
Dear Father, We see ways we have planted wrong things in our marriage. We desire to sow life giving words, attitudes and actions. We ask for Your forgiveness, and cleansing from strife and wrong harvests. Help us to sow wonderful life giving seeds into our marriage and receive Your bountiful harvest of joy. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
Look for the four
Coming up in Session 5
What to do when it’s just too hard to forgive?
What if it happens again and again? Why forgiving is key to healing.
Life changing!
Session 5- Seven Days of Forgiveness Power
Day 1
Share with each other a special memory that you have from when you met.
Wife Husband
For if you forgive people their trespasses – that is their reckless and willful sins, leaving them and letting them go and giving up resentment – your heavenly Father will also forgive you. Matthew 6:14
Why do you think God makes our willingness to forgive a condition of His forgiving us?
Do you think it is easier for God to forgive than for us to forgive? Why or why not?
Do you think God helps us to do everything He asks of us?
Day 2
Begin today by sharing with each other a special memory that you have of while you were dating.
Wife
Husband
But if you do not forgive others their trespasses – their reckless and willful sins, leaving them, letting them go and giving up resentment – neither will your Father forgive you your trespasses. Matthew 6:15
Do you believe God seriously means He will not forgive?
What happens when God does not forgive us?
God so loved us that He sent His only son to die so our sins would be forgiven. If our unforgiveness blocks the flow of that forgive- ness, how powerful is our decision not to forgive?
Day 3
Begin today by sharing with each other a special memory that you have of the two of you when you were considering marriage.
Wife Husband
Praise the Lord, oh my soul, and forget not all his benefits, who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion. Psalm 103:2,4
What part does forgiveness play in good health?
What does it mean to have our life redeemed from the pit?
How do we increase in being loving and compassionate?
Day 4
Today share with each other a special memory of the two of you when you were first married.
Wife Husband
Then his master, after he had called him, said to him, “You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you begged me. Should you not also have had compassion on your fellow servant, just as I had pity on you?” Matthew 18:32-33
How much has God forgiven you? How much do you have to forgive?
Scripture tells us, “But Christ proved God’s passionate love for us by dying in our place while we were still lost and ungodly!” [Romans 5:8 TPT]. When God forgave us, did you even know how much you needed to be forgiven?
Knowing all this, how much do the ones who hurt or offend us need to be forgiven?
Day 5
Share with each other another special memory that you have of the two of you during your early days of marriage.
Wife Husband
For with what judgment you judge, you will be judged; and with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you. Matthew 7:2
We judge others by their behavior but, we judge ourselves by our intentions. What does this scripture say about that?
Why do you think we are so lenient on ourselves?
Would it make a difference if we could see the offender as God sees him or her? How so?
Day 6
What special memory would you like to share with each other today?
Wife Husband
See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no root of bitterness grows up to cause trouble and defile many.
Hebrews 12:15
Why do you think bitterness grows from a root?
What is that root?
This scripture isn’t just talking about an individual. It exhorts us to make sure no one misses the grace of God and becomes bitter. What does that mean to you personally as a couple and in the other relationships you have?
Day 7
Share one more special memory with each other today.
Wife
Husband
Love is large and incredibly patient. Love is gentle and consistently kind to all. It refuses to be jealous when blessing comes to someone else. Love does not brag about one’s achievements nor inflate its own importance. Love does not traffic in shame and disrespect, nor selfishly seek its own honor. Love is not easily irritated or quick to take offense. Love joyfully celebrates honesty and finds no delight in what is wrong. Love is a safe place of shelter, for it never stops believing the best for others. Love never takes failure as defeat, for it never gives up. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 TPT
How would our ability to forgive be affected if we walked in this kind of love?
This love is of God and is reflected in His total forgiveness of us at the cross. If you have received Jesus, this love lives within you. How should this effect how you react to those who hurt or offend you?
Is there anyone that you realize you need to forgive?
Dear Father, How can we thank You for Your amazing heart of forgiveness. We desire, and choose, to forgive each other and release all hurts to You and receive Your loving healing. We choose to forgive ourselves and receive Your love and restoration for both our hearts. Please cleanse us and cover us with Your tender love and new life.
Look for the four
Coming up in Session 6
Why is faith in marriage harder than anywhere else?
Is there such a thing as an impossible marriage?
How do we build faith when circumstances seem overwhelming?
Believe it to see it!
Session 6- Seven Days of Faith Power
Day 1
As you journal this week, share something that you recognized as an inner quality about your spouse when you met.
Wife Husband
For the Lord does not see as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart. 1 Samuel 16:7
Share some of the differences you see between outward appearance and the heart.
Since the Lord lives within you, do you think it is possible for you to see someone’s heart?
How would you treat people differently if you knew their heart?
Day 2
Share another inner quality about your spouse that you saw as you got to know each other.
Wife Husband
For You formed my inward parts. You covered me in my mother’s womb. I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Marvelous are Your works, and that my soul knows very well. Psalm 139:13-14
Have you ever considered that God created you and formed you with His purpose for you in mind?
Share with each other what that says to you.
What does it mean to you that God was ministering to you as you grew in your mother’s womb?
Every child, whether planned or considered to be an “accident”, is created by God with a purpose for his or her life.
Does that conflict with society’s attitude toward the unborn today?
Day 3
Share with each other an inner quality you saw developing as you prepared to marry.
Wife Husband
For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11
Growing up were you taught that God had great plans for you?
Whether yes or no, what effect did that have on you?
Do you see God cheering you on or do you feel He is disappointed in you?
What does this scripture tell you about that?
Knowing that God has plans for your life and that He is cheering you on to be what He created you to be, do you know what His plans are?
Day 4
When you were first married, what outstanding quality did you observe in each other?
Wife
Husband
Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. Hebrews 11:1
According to this scripture, we must have hope in order to have faith.
Is there any area where you have lost hope?
Evidence is defined as something that furnishes proof.
How do you see faith furnishing proof of things not seen?
This scripture seems to say that faith involves hoping and believing for that which is not yet seen. Sometimes faith is presented as something we must work to achieve. How does this scripture seem to contradict that?
Day 5
Share with each other another inner quality that you saw developing in your spouse in your first years of marriage.
Wife Husband
When there is no clear prophetic vision, people quickly wander astray. Proverbs 29:18 TPT
Without knowing God’s vision and plans, it is easy to wander through life taking things as they come. Where are you with this?
God not only has a plan for your life, He also has a plan for your marriage. Have you asked Him about that?
Write down here what God has spoken to you about His plans for you and for your marriage. If you are just beginning to seek Him, come back to this area and write things down as you hear them.
Day 6
What inner quality in your spouse stands out now after being married for a while?
Wife Husband
If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, you will ask what you desire, and it shall be done for you. John 15:7
What is the key to seeing God’s will accomplished in your life?
What does abide mean to you?
When we abide in the Lord and His word abides in us, do you think that changes what we desire? Talk about that together.
Day 7
What do you see that God has placed within your spouse that are now part of your faith vision for him or her?
Wife Husband
Write the vision and make it plain on tablets, that he may run who reads it. For the vision is yet for an appointed time; But at the end it will speak, and it will not lie. Though it tarries, wait for it. Because it will surely come. It will not tarry. Habakkuk 2:2-3
Dave and Sherry shared how they sought the Lord for His vision for each other. Now is time for you to do the same.
Seek the Lord for how He sees your spouse. He may give you scripture or maybe a vision or maybe both. Be open to what He wants to share with you. Then write it down and begin to speak it out. Agree with God.
Dear Father, open our hearts. Please help us to see each other and marriage through Your eyes and to agree with who You say we are and the amazing plans You have for us. Please show us scriptures, give us Words or visions and bring it to pass for Your wonderful glory.
In Jesus’ Name. Amen.
Look for the four
Coming up in Session 7
What is the most intimate thing a couple can do?
Why is it so hard to do consistently?
What to do if you have different ideas of
how it should be done.
The deepest intimacy!
Session 7 – Seven Days of Spiritual Intimacy Power
Day 1
Share with each other a prayer that God answered in your life.
Wife
Husband
For where two or three are gathered together in My name, I am there in the midst of them. Matthew 18:20
Did you realize that when you pray together as husband and wife you are not just sending your prayers out there somewhere? Jesus is right there with you listening. Talk about that.
In the Garden of Eden that first couple met daily with God. Have you thought about the opportunity to do that as well as a couple?
Instead of thinking about formalized prayer, how about just meeting together daily with Jesus to talk with Him? Share your hearts, bring your needs, thank Him for all He has done, or just sit quietly with Him.
Day 2
Begin today by sharing with each other another prayer that God answered in your life.
Wife Husband
Five of you shall chase a hundred, and a hundred of you shall put ten thousand to flight. Leviticus 26:8
This scripture speaks of power in our lives increasing exponentially with the power of God. So when you pray together as husband and wife, your individual ability is multiplied exponentially as well.
Understanding this, can you see why the enemy makes sure it is hard for you to pray together? Talk about some of the things that get in your way when you want to pray together.
Again, looking at this scripture, what do you think would happen if every Christian couple prayed together daily?
Can you agree to make an appointment with Jesus each day to meet with Him? Just as with any relationship, some days will be a longer visit than others. Some days will be shorter. Begin to enjoy prayer as a conversation.
Day 3
Share with each other a prayer that you prayed together and saw God answer in your life.
Wife Husband
The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective. James 5:16
Our prayers are powerful and effective not because we have earned righteousness, but because we are made righteous through Jesus. How does this change how you see the power of your prayers?
Have you ever felt your prayers were not effective because you felt you weren’t “holy” enough or deserving of having your prayers answered? If so, what does this scripture say to you?
What does powerful and effective mean to you?
Day 4
Share with each other about a prayer you are praying right now in your life.
Wife Husband
I will pray with the spirit, and I will also pray with the understanding. 1 Corinthians 14:15
Sometimes it is hard to pray with our understanding, especially when we are at odds as a couple regarding prayer. You may want differing outcomes or perhaps you are upset with each other at the time. Sometimes you just don’t know what to pray. Those are the times when praying in the spirit really helps. It takes your own thinking and emotions out of the way and enables you to pray a prayer God’s way. Have you ever experienced this?
What are the advantages of praying each way, with understanding and with the spirit?
Why do you think Paul was such a big advocate of praying in the spirit?
Day 5
Begin today by sharing with each other a prayer that you want to see God answer in your life together.
Wife Husband
So shall My word be that goes forth from My mouth; It shall not return to Me void, but it shall accomplish what I please, and it shall prosper in the thing for which I sent it. Isaiah 55:11
Why is praying God’s word so effective?
Praying God’s word makes you choose between your own will and His. Have you ever had to do that?
When you pray His word, you speak in agreement with God. If you speak what He speaks, what effect will that have on circumstances?
Day 6
Share with each other a prayer that God answered in your life.
Wife
Husband
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all under- standing, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7
Have you ever thought about peace that passes understanding being the result of just praying and not even seeing the answer yet?
Why do you think thanksgiving is important when you are asking?
What does it look like to have God’s peace guard your heart and mind?
Day 7
Share again with each other a prayer that God answered in your marriage.
Wife Husband
Praying Together as Husband and Wife
Remember these guidelines:
This is the most intimate thing you can do together.
Praying Together
- Meet with Jesus daily Begin with praise Agree with God’s will.
- Remember your power increases exponentially.
- Use the authority you have been given.
- Don’t criticize how your spouse prays.
- Listen to your spouse’s heart.
- Focus on mutual concerns.
- Trust God is hearing your prayer.
- Write down what you pray about and the answers you receive.
- Pray what Scripture says.
- Pray in the spirit and with understanding.
It’s a conversation. Don’t do all the talking. Listen to God.
12 Minute Prayer (To get you started)
Twelve Minute Prayer
- Praise and Worship: 1 minute
- Pray in the spirit and listen to God: 1 minute
Looking into each others eyes
- Husband thank God for your wife: 1 minute
- Wife thank God for your husband: 1 minute
- Husband repent of today’s sins: 1 minute
- Wife repent of today’s sins: 1 minute
- Husband pray blessing on your wife: 1 minute
- Wife pray blessing on your husband: 1 minute
- Pray for children: 2 minutes
- Pray for friends and family:2 minutes
Look for the four
A Scriptural Study Of The Baptism Of The Holy Spirit.
Before His ascension into Heaven, Jesus told His disciples to wait in Jerusalem until they were baptized with the Holy Spirit [Acts 1:4,5]. Those to whom He was speaking had been born again when he came to them after His death and resurrection [John 20:22]. It was obvious from what Jesus was telling them in the first chapter of Acts, though, that there was another, separate experience available to them. In Acts 1:8, Jesus promised them that they would receive power and become His witnesses to the ends of the earth. All of those who gathered to hear Jesus loved Him very much and had chosen to follow Him but they lacked courage and boldness. All of them had deserted Him when He was crucified with the exception of John and the women. Peter had even denied knowing Him. They obviously needed the power that it would take to live out their commitment to Him.
In Acts chapter 2, all of the disciples were gathered in one place. Even Mary, the mother of Jesus was there. The Holy Spirit came upon them and they were filled with power. The first outward manifestation of this infilling was that they all began to speak in tongues as the Spirit enabled them [Acts 2:4]. These tongues were understood by people from all nations who were in Jerusalem for the feast of Pentecost. This speaking all together in tongues gave the disciples tremendous unity and power such as had not been seen on the earth since God confused the languages at the tower of Babel [Genesis 11:6-9]. When we speak as one and have one heart and purpose, there is power. Speaking in tongues provided for them (and for us) that unity they had not previously had. It enabled them, and now us, to come together with believers from all over the world, speaking different natural languages but speaking together in the spirit.
The second manifestation of the Baptism was the boldness with which the disciples began to proclaim the Gospel. These same people who had previously been so afraid and timid were now drawing large crowds with their preaching. They were suddenly not concerned with what the crowds thought of them or if they were in danger. They had received the power necessary to live the Christian life.
Be assured that Satan knows the power of this experience. He has done much down through the ages to discredit it. In some churches he has even convinced them to give him the credit for the outward manifestations of the Baptism of the Holy Spirit, tongues in particular. He has gotten many people to overlook the experience and to even scoff at it, much to their loss. Without the Baptism of the Holy Spirit, we are very limited in what we can accomplish. We are not “plugged in” to the vital source of supernatural power that the Holy Spirit offers.
The Baptism or the Infilling of the Holy Spirit was not a one-time experience in the history of the church. Throughout the book of Acts, the same experience with the same manifestations occurred over and over again [Acts 8, Acts 10, Acts 19]. The first-century church moved in the spirit in a way that we often covet. Yet this same measure of power and authority is available to the church today if we would only receive it. If the Body of Christ were united today in the Holy Spirit power in which the first-century church moved, we would see victory and glory that we only dream of now. We can, however, begin in our home. In each of our lives this power is available the same way it was available to each disciple on the day of Pentecost. We only need to reach out and take it.
In Luke 11:11-13, Jesus tells us that if we who are earthly know how to give our children good things, how much more then will the Father in Heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask Him. We know then that we must ask to receive. James tells us that we have not because we ask not [James 4:2]. The Baptism of the Holy Spirit is available to anyone who has asked Jesus to be their Lord and Savior. We need only ask to be baptized in the Holy Spirit and He baptizes us. We can ask Him all by ourselves or we can ask other Spirit-filled Christians to lay hands on us and pray with us [Acts 8:17; Acts 19:6]. Know that when we ask, we receive. Take that promise and receive all that the Holy Spirit has for you.
The tongues that we receive with the Baptism of the Holy Spirit is our own prayer language, not the Gift of Tongues. The Gift of Tongues, one of the nine gifts of the Holy Spirit, is what Paul was talking about in 1 Corinthians 14:5,13,22,23. Scripture tells us that this gift must function in conjunction with the Gift of Interpretation to supernaturally deliver a word from God to the hearers [1 Corinthians 14:27,28]. The prayer language of tongues is what Paul was talking about in 1 Corinthians 14:4,14,15,18,19. This is your personal prayer language which does not require interpretation [Romans 8:26,27]. If you do not understand the difference, please continue to study the scriptures and/or ask your leaders for help.
Be open for every gift God has for you. If tongues do not manifest readily when you receive the Baptism of the Holy Spirit, don’t decide that God does not want you to have that gift. Instead ask the Lord what is blocking your gift. It may simply be an intellectual argument or just embarrassment. It may, however, be something more serious such as previous involvement in occult activities (e.g. horoscopes, Ouija boards, automatic writing, etc.). When tongues do not manifest, we need to ask the Holy
Spirit for discernment regarding the blockage.
We need, however, to be cautious that we remain in the spirit in our attempts to receive and not enter into fleshly activities. Tongues do not have to be forced. If they are being blocked, we need only discern the blockage and remove it. They will then readily flow. We do not have to repeat after someone else or move our head or tongues a certain way. Just surrender your tongue to Him to speak through you and He will do it.
That does not mean that you don’t make a sound and that God will supernaturally take over your speech. Very often you will become aware of words that are unfamiliar to you and you will tell yourself that they are nonsense. Take a step of faith and speak them out. Once you have been obedient in surrendering your tongue, the Holy Spirit will begin supplying you with a whole new, beautiful language. Begin using that language to praise God and to tell Him of your love for Him. As you use your language daily you will begin to see it increase. That increase and frequent usage will bring you to Paul’s desire to “pray in the Spirit on all occasions” [Ephesians 6:18 NIV].
Tongues are not the only gift or even the most important gift that God has for you. We emphasis it here because your prayer language is such a vital part of an active prayer life. There are so many times when we do not know how to pray or when our own opinion is clouding our ability to freely hear from God. We need the Holy Spirit to pray a powerful prayer through us, a prayer that is God’s perfect will for the situation. Our body has a voice and our spirit has one as well. Praying in the spirit allows our spirit to freely speak what God is saying.
Have you received the Baptism or the Infilling of the Holy Spirit? If not, there’s no better time than the present to receive all that God has for you. If you want to be baptized by Jesus in the Holy Spirit, pray the following prayer.
“Lord Jesus, I want all that You have for me. I want to surrender all to You. Please baptize me in the Holy Spirit right now. I receive it. Thank you.”
With both of you baptized in the Holy Spirit, you can pray with your understanding in your native language and in the spirit in tongues. Sometimes we don’t know how to pray or what we should say. “In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express” [Romans 8:26 NIV].
It is at times such as these that we need to pray in the spirit for He knows how to pray a perfect prayer, always in the will of God. Be- gin praying both ways in your daily prayer time together. Remember that praying in the spirit also edifies [1 Corinthians 14:4].
If you received the Baptism of the Holy Spirit this week, do the same as you did when you were born again. Write the date below and sign your name. It is established for all eternity!
DATE
HUSBAND
WIFE
Dear Father, how amazing that You not only hear our prayers but desire fellowship with us. You want to hear our needs. You want to speak into our lives to guide us, and answer the cries of our hearts. Help us to move past any embarrassment and share deeply together, with You. Thank You for meeting us where we are, bless us to grow.
In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
Coming up in Session 8
Who should get the final say when you can’t agree?
How can you know God’s will?
How can you shut the door on enemy interference in God’s plans for you?
Knowing God’s will
Session 8 – Seven Days of Agreement Power
Day 1
Begin today by sharing with each other one thing that you appreciate about the way your spouse shows you love.
Wife Husband
Can two walk together unless they are agreed? Amos 3:3
Why is it so difficult to walk together if you are not in agreement?
Considering Ananias and Sapphira (Acts 5), is it enough for a couple to agree with each other if they are not agreeing with God?
How important is it to you to know what God is saying when you are seeking answers?
Day 2
Share with each another thing that you appreciate about the way your spouse has always shown you love.
Wife Husband
For wherever there is jealousy and selfish ambition, there you will find disorder and evil of every kind. James 3:16
Why do you think jealousy and selfish ambition produce evil of every kind?
In order to come into agreement God’s way, you must set aside your own desires. Why is that such a struggle?
Since sin entered into the Garden of Eden, self has sought its own way. Why is marriage such a great relationship to confront this?
Day 3
Share with each other one special memory that you have of a time when your spouse showed you love.
Wife Husband
Again, I give you an eternal truth: If two of you agree to ask God for something in a symphony of prayer, my heavenly Father will do it for you. Matthew 18:19
The reward of agreeing with God is seeing His will come to pass. Knowing this, why does it sometimes not seem worth the time and effort to seek His will?
What does a symphony of prayer look like for the two of you?
Next time someone asks you to agree with them for something they are praying about, what will your response be?
Day 4
Share with each other another special memory that you have of a time when your spouse showed you love.
Wife Husband
Jesus said to them, “My food is to do the will of Him who sent Me and to completely finish His work.” John 4:34
What was Jesus saying about the will of the Father in His life?
Food provides nourishment, pleasure, and is a big part of social interaction. Talk about what Jesus said in light of that.
Jesus not only wanted to do the will of His Father, but He wanted to completely finish His work. How do you as a couple relate to that in your life?
Day 5
Share with each other a time you remember sharing your love for your spouse.
Wife Husband
For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts. Isaiah 55:9
Can you trust that God’s way of doing things is better than what you would do? Why or why not?
What would making God’s will a priority in your marriage and home look like?
If God gave us the ability to think and decide things on our own, why do you think He wants us to seek His will?
Day 6
Share with each other how much you have appreciated those times of showing love.
Wife
Husband
For I have come down from heaven, not to do My own will, but the will of Him who sent Me. John 6:38
Have you ever thought that this is why you are here as well?
Do you think Jesus may have moved in such power and authority because He always sought to do the Father’s will?
What might the Church look like today if all believers followed this example of Jesus?
Day 7
What do you appreciate most about the way your spouse shows you love?
Wife Husband
Steps for Coming into Agreement God’s Way
- Ask God together.
- Pray in the spirit together. [1 Corinthians 14:14] Pray in tongues, not with your understanding. This keeps your own thoughts and desires out of the prayer.
- Share with each other what you are hearing from God.
- If your answers differ, go back to praying in the Spirit. Do not try to convince your spouse what you are hearing is correct. As long as your answers differ, you have not yet heard from God as a couple.
- Continue praying until you both hear the same thing. Sometimes it will be what one of you thought it was from the beginning. Sometimes God will completely change one’s thinking so you both hear the same thing. Sometimes God will give you a completely different answer than either of you had in the beginning.
- Don’t be driven by circumstances.
- Determine you will wait on God.
- Your answer must line up with the Word of God.
- Once you have both heard the same thing from God, you will know you have His will in the matter and can proceed with confidence.
- Seeking God’s will this way takes much less time than what it takes to overcome problems created by doing our own thing.
Dear Father, this is wonderful revelation. We don’t have to hope we make godly decisions. Your desire is to lead us in Your perfect will which is better than anything we think or want. Help us to actively seek Your answers, hear Your voice and rest in trusting You so we can experience the joy of Your peace and direction. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
Look for the four
Coming up in Session 9
Is physical intimacy the same as sex?
How do counterfeits destroy intimacy?
What is the key to deep intimacy?
God’s wedding gift
Session 9 – Seven Days of Physical Intimacy Power
Day 1
Share today with each other something that you enjoyed about your physical intimacy when you were first married.
Wife
Husband
Jesus said to him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me. John 14:6
Have you experienced any counterfeit spiritual experiences trying to get closer to God?
When we receive Jesus, we enter into relationship with God.
It is not through our own doing, but through Him. Share together the difference between that and working to get to God.
If you have experienced it, how would you describe the difference between true intimacy with God and other means of seeking Him?
Day 2
Begin again today by sharing with each other another thing that you enjoyed about your physical intimacy in your first years of marriage.
Wife Husband
Come, my beloved, let us go to the countryside, let us spend the night in the villages. Song of Solomon 7:11
Getting away together or doing something special is an important part of physical intimacy in marriage. What are some things you can plan to do as a couple to create a special time together?
Sometimes you can limit planning for special times because you don’t have the finances or resources. Can you think of ways to spend special intimate time together that wouldn’t cost a lot or depend on resources?
Variety often makes intimacy more fun and enjoyable. Can you think of ways to surprise each other or bring more variety into your intimacy?
Day 3
Today share with each other something that you enjoy about your physical intimacy now.
Wife Husband
Then God blessed them, and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it; have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over every living thing that moves on the earth.” Genesis 1:28
There has been teaching that physical intimacy was a result of the fall and was not part of their relationship from the beginning. How does this scripture prove that not to be true?
Since this quote is the first thing that God said to them, how important does physical intimacy between husband and wife seem to be to God?
How does a healthy sexual union seem to relate to our authority in the earth?
Day 4
Share with each other another thing that you enjoy about your physical intimacy now.
Wife
Husband
A husband has the responsibility of meeting the sexual needs of his wife, and likewise a wife to her husband. Neither the husband nor the wife have exclusive rights to their own bodies, but those rights are to be surrendered to the other. 1 Corinthians 7:3-4 TPT
How is the heart of God reflected in His design for physical intimacy in marriage?
The relationship of husband and wife is different from any other relationship on earth. Why is exclusive sexual union such an import- ant part of that?
If sexual union by God’s design in marriage is to bless each other and to honor each other’s body as our own, what do you think the effect of casual sex is?
Day 5
Begin by sharing with each other something that you think would be a blessing to your physical intimacy.
Wife Husband
For this reason God gave them over to their own disgraceful and vile passions. Inflamed with lust for one another, men and women ignored the natural order and exchanged normal sexual relations for homosexuality. Women engaged in lesbian conduct, and men committed shameful acts with men, receiving in themselves the due penalty for their deviation. Romans 1:26-27 TPT
In this “politically correct” day and age it is considered hateful to say such things. Yet, scripture is clear on God’s standard for sexual union. There are those who would tell us that times have changed, but this scripture written thousands of years ago describes what we see today and proclaims God’s truth in the matter.
How has society’s acceptance of just about any counterfeit form of sexual union cheapened God’s plan for husband and wife in covenant?
In Revelation 12:11 it says, “And they overcame him (the enemy) by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony, and they did not love their lives to the death.” Do you think that fear of persecution has kept those who love Jesus from speaking truth on this matter?
And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God. [Romans 12:2] How has the world’s opinion distorted the beauty of God’s plan for man and woman in marriage?
Day 6
Share with each other something else that you think would be ablessing to your physical intimacy.
Wife Husband
Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body. 1 Corinthians 6:18 NIV
Why do you think that sexual sin is a sin against one’s own body?
If you have had sexual sin in your background, have you seen any of the effects in your life that Gerry and Nancy shared?
If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. [1 John 1:9] Today is the day to receive not only forgiveness, but total cleansing of all effects of that sin. Then walk free into God’s beautiful plan for your physical intimacy.
Remember their example of the cleansing of the tainted water in the glass!
Day 7
Share with each other one area where you would like to see your physical intimacy be stronger. What would your part in that be?
Wife Husband
Marriage is to be held in honor among all [that is, regarded as something of great value], and the marriage bed undefiled [by immorality or by any sexual sin]; for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous. Hebrews 13:4 AMP
As we separate out the lies that the world gives us from the truth of God’s word and plan for marriage, we begin to see the depth of God’s purpose for sexual union between husband and wife.
What has this session spoken to you about your physical intimacy as husband and wife?
The Path to Healing
- Repent of all sexual sin.
- Receive both forgiveness and cleansing by His blood.
- Forgive yourself.
- Forgive those who defiled you.
- Sever all soul ties.
- Take authority over any demonic spirits assigned through the sin.
- Make sure everything in your physical intimacy is edifying to both of you.
Maintaining Victory
- Keep yourself from impurity.
- Renew your mind with the Word.
- Forgive yourself.
- Lock your shields and stand as one-flesh.
- Be led of the Spirit.
- Minister to each other sexually.
Dear Father, You created marital intimacy to be a wonderful blessing. Please forgive us for past and/or present ways we have dishonored the beauty of it. Please heal our hearts of past wounds. Now dear Lord, please bless our union with love and purity and the joy of oneness as You created it to be and the world can never match. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
Look for the four
Coming up in Session 10
Discover the Radar and the Warrior.
How are our weapons stronger than the enemy’s?
Why is it critical for both spouses to participate?
Fighting together is good!
Session 10 – Seven Days of Spiritual Warfare Power
Day 1
Share with each other one area where you have seen the enemy invade your lives in the past.
Wife Husband
Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might. Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. Ephesians 6:10-11
Right before this scripture Paul has given instructions to children and to parents, to slaves and to masters. It seems he is talking to those in authority and those who must answer to authority. Why do you think he proceeds a discussion of the armor of God with those instructions?
What reason does Paul give us for putting on the whole armor of God?
What is a wile?
Day 2
Share with each other another area where you have seen the enemy come against your marriage in the past.
Wife Husband
For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the dark- ness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. Ephesians 6:12
So people are not our problem. What is?
What do you think Paul’s point is in delineating the various levels of enemy opposition?
In learning to identify the enemy, why do you think it is important to know what level you are battling?
Day 3
Share with each other an attempt that you see by the enemy to disrupt your relationship now.
Wife Husband
Stand therefore, having girded your waist with truth, having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace; above all, taking the shield of faith with which you will be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one. And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God; praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit… Ephesians 6:14-18
Share with each other anything new you learned from this session about each of these parts of the armor.
Why do you think faith quenches fiery darts of the enemy?
What do you think you are to be “praying always”?
Day 4
Share with each other another attempt that you see by the enemy to disrupt your relationship.
Wife Husband
Most assuredly, I say to you, he who believes in Me, the works that I do he will do also; and greater works than these he will do, because I go to My Father. John 14:12-14
Do you believe it is possible to do even greater things than Jesus did? If so, how is that possible?
We have talked before about Jesus only doing the will of His Father. What is the correlation between that and your doing greater things than He did?
Share with each other what it will look like when you are doing greater things than Jesus did.
Day 5
Share with each other any “open doors” you see that give access to the enemy in your home.
Wife Husband
For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ, and being ready to punish all disobedience when your obedience is fulfilled. 2 Corinthians 10:4-6
Your weapons are supernatural – not common, human weapons. What does this say to you about God’s desire for you to be victorious in spiritual warfare?
Look at the description of what your weapons do and talk about why those are key in battle.
Share with each other how you see the radar and the warrior working together with these weapons.
Day 6
Share with each how you would like to see the two of you face any current enemy challenges.
Wife Husband
No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it. 1 Corinthians 10:13
Our weapons are supernatural, but the enemy can only use weapons that are common to man – natural, fleshly weapons. Why is it so important that you stay in the spirit when you oppose the enemy?
The enemy has had centuries to observe human behavior. Why do you think he wants to keep you focused in the flesh?
What kind of escapes do you think God provides when you are tempted?
Day 7
Share today with each other a situation where you overcame the enemy’s attempt to invade your lives.
Wife Husband
These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world. John 16:33
Even though you are at war with the enemy, Jesus wants you to have peace. How do you see in your own lives that Jesus has overcome the world?
Talk with each other about the balance between fighting enemy attack and resting peacefully in Jesus.
How do you see yourselves working together as the radar and the warrior?
Dear Father, we see that our spouse is not our enemy. The enemy of our marriage wants to divide us and create tension and harm. But we thank You that greater is He who is in us than he who is in the world. We are more than conquerors through Christ Jesus and ask for Your love and unity to be manifest in our relationship. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
Look for the four
Coming up in Session 11
Transformation is a step-by-step process.
What has been happening during the past weeks?
How do you keep the process going?
Never the same again!
Session 11 – Seven Days of Transformation Power
Day 1
Share with each other one thing that you have seen changed in your relationship during this course.
Wife Husband
This is the message which we have heard from Him and declare to you, that God is light and in Him is no darkness at all. 1 John 1:5
We are used to recognizing things dark on light, such as black print on a white page. God brings light to the darkness in our lives, so it is light on dark. Sometimes it is harder to see at first. We have given you the example above of Jesus, not written as we usually see it. At first we just see the outline of the letters, but then when we recognize the word, it is easy to see from then on.
In marriage we need to make sure there is no darkness between us. Has God’s light shown you any areas of darkness in any of your life patterns?
If so, He has paid the price for that darkness to be removed. Share together about life patterns you have discerned through this session.
Day 2
Begin again today by sharing with each other another thing that you have seen changed in your relationship during this course.
Wife Husband
Now Abraham said of Sarah his wife, “She is my sister.” Genesis 20:2
The men of the place asked about his wife. And he said, “She is my sister” Genesis 26:6
Jacob said to his father, “I am Esau your firstborn.” Genesis 27:19
Joseph’s brothers sold him into slavery and told their father he had died. Genesis 37
Here we see four generations of a life pattern of lying. Did you recognize any generational life patterns in your family as you went this session?
If so, was it a healthy life pattern? How would you like to continue that pattern through the coming generations?
If it was a negative life pattern, how do you plan to discontinue that pattern in the future?
Day 3
Share again with each other another thing that you have seen changed in your relationship during this course.
Wife Husband
For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light (for the fruit of the Spirit is in all goodness, righteousness, and truth), finding out what is acceptable to the Lord. Ephesians 5:8-10
Because Jesus lives within us and the Holy Spirit leads and guides us, we walk in light and we know the truth. Is there any area of conflict in your life because the truth says one thing, but you are doing another?
Sometimes we can convince ourselves to just ignore things and they will go away, but sin must be confessed to get it out of our lives. Is there any area of darkness between you that you need to confess?
Remember that Brent and Pam said to pray and ask the Holy Spirit for the right timing to confess sin. Pray for your spouse’s heart to be prepared. This is not intended to be a time of dumping so that you will feel better. It is a Spirit-led time of healing for the both of you.
This is a time of removing darkness from between you. You may need help to walk through this together. Talk with your group facilitator or call a mentor couple who can help you.
Day 4
Share today one more thing that you have seen changed in your relationship during this course.
Wife Husband
Confess and acknowledge how you have offended one an- other and then pray for one another to be instantly healed, for tremendous power is released through the passionate, heartfelt prayer of a godly believer! James 5:16 TPT
The purpose of repenting and getting darkness out of your lives is healing. God wants you to walk fully in His plan for you. When you repent of sin in your life, God gives you a new plan A.
Have you ever felt that you had messed up so badly that things could never be the same again? What does it mean to you that God wipes the slate clean and gives you a brand new plan A?
God is 100% for you! It can be difficult getting things out into the light, but remember all the examples you have been given through the sessions from couples who have walked through difficult things together. God is not disappointed in you. He is eager to take you through to healing!
Don’t let the enemy divide you! Walk through this together! There may be consequences of your sin that you still need to work through and deal with as the Lord leads you. Do you see any of those in your life?
Day 5
Share today one thing that you have seen changed in your spouse during this course.
Wife Husband
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law. Galatians 5:22-23
The fruit of the Holy Spirit manifest the love of God. They grow within as we yield to Him. Which of these do you see manifest in your spouse?
Which of these would you like to see more of in your own life?
Why do you think it says there is no law against these? (Hint: law sets limits)
Day 6
Share again another thing that you have seen changed in your spouse during this course.
Wife Husband
…for to one is given the word of wisdom through the Spirit, to another the word of knowledge through the same Spirit, to another faith by the same Spirit, to another gifts of healings by the same Spirit, to another the working of miracles, to another prophecy, to another discerning of spirits, to another different kinds of tongues, to another the interpretation of tongues. But one and the same Spirit works all these things, distributing to each one individually as He wills. 1 Corinthians 12:8-11
The gifts of the Spirit manifest the power of God in our lives. They are given to meet the needs of others. Which of the gifts have you flowed in?
Since these are gifts, they are given not earned. Do you desire these gifts?
Learning to flow together in the gifts is key for marriage. Which gifts would you like to know more about?
Day 7
Share with each other what you think the biggest transformation has been in your lives.
Wife Husband
My beloved ones, just like you’ve always listened to everything I’ve taught you in the past, I’m asking you now to keep following my instructions as though I were right there with you. Now you must continue to make this new life fully manifested as you live in the holy awe of God—which brings you trembling into his presence. God will continually revitalize you, implanting within you the passion to do what pleases Him. Philippians 2:12-13
This is a beautiful picture of the fruit of transformation in your lives. Share with each other what it means to you to have God plant in you the passion to do what pleases Him.
Everything you have learned throughout the past weeks has commutatively brought you to this point. Talk about “continue to make this new life fully manifested as you live in the holy awe of God”.
What do you think the key is to fulfilling God’s plan for the two of you on this earth?
Dear Father, You have been doing a mighty work in us as we have received Your love and truth in these teachings. Please help us to walk in new and blessed ways of thinking and living in our marriage. To cultivate the wonderful Fruit of the Holy Spirit and His beautiful and powerful gifts. Transform us for Your glory. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
Look for the four
Coming up in Session 12
It’s not just about you.
God created you with His plan in mind.
Do you see your mountain(s)?
Taking your mountain!
Session 12 – Seven Days of Oneness Power
Day 1
Share with each other one thing you would like to see in your future together.
Wife Husband
Every Scripture has been written by the Holy Spirit, the breath of God. It will empower you by its instruction and correction, giving you the strength to take the right direction and lead you deeper into the path of godliness. Then you will be God’s servant, fully mature and perfectly prepared to fulfill any assignment God gives you. 2 Timothy 3:16-17
TPT
The Word of God transforms our hearts and minds and our marriage. What have you learned from scripture during these past weeks?
What do you think it will take to keep those things alive in your heart?
Talk about what it means to you to be “fully mature and perfectly prepared to fulfill any assignment”.
Day 2
Share again today with each other one thing you would like to see in your future together.
Wife Husband
You didn’t choose me, but I’ve chosen and commissioned you to go into the world to bear fruit. And your fruit will last, because whatever you ask of my Father, for my sake, he will give it to you! John 15:16 TPT
We always think in terms of us finding the Lord and choosing Him. What does this scripture tell us about that?
Share with each other what it means to be chosen and commissioned to bear fruit that lasts.
Jesus said that whatever we ask of the Father, for His sake, the Father will give to us. How does that change what we ask for?
Day 3
Share again today another thing you would like to see in your future together.
Wife Husband
This shall be a sign to you: You shall eat this year such as grows of itself, And the second year what springs from the same; Also in the third year sow and reap, plant vineyards and eat the fruit of them. Isaiah 37:30
What season do you think you are in in your marriage?
If it is the first, are you enjoying “what grows by itself”? Share.
If it is the second, are you learning to be more purposeful with your time and energy? Share.
If it is the third, how are you reaching out sowing and reaping and planting vineyards? Share.
Day 4
Share today what you think the two of you need to do to see those things changed in your future together.
Wife Husband
Then God blessed them, and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply”. Genesis 1:28
God gives that same command to each of us. What do you see He has planted in your marriage that you can multiply to others?
Nothing that God does in and for us is just for us. What has changed in your thinking about the purpose of your marriage?
How do you see yourselves being fruitful in the future?
Day 5
Share today one thing you would like to see changing in your marriage in the days ahead.
Wife Husband
The kingdom of God does not come with observation; nor will they say, “See here!” or “See there!’” For indeed, the kingdom of God is within you. Luke 17:20-21
What does it mean to have the Kingdom of God within you?
In the Lord’s prayer, Jesus prayed, “They Kingdom come, Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven.” Knowing that the Kingdom is within you, what do those words mean to you?
God has placed within you everything you need to fulfill His commission to you on this earth. Share together what you think some of those things are.
Day 6
Share together what you see you need to do to see those changes in your marriage in the days ahead
Wife Husband
Now therefore, give me this mountain of which the Lord spoke in that day. Joshua 14:12
Do you know what mountain(s) God has called you to?
What do you see as the condition of that mountain (those mountains) today?
How do you envision taking Kingdom principles into that mountain (those mountains) to begin changing what is happening there?
Day 7
What do you want to share with your spouse today?
Wife Husband
I have glorified You on the earth. I have finished the work which You have given Me to do. John 17:4
What does this scripture mean to you personally?
Making a Bucket List is very popular right now. Why should this scripture be included in a Believer’s bucket list?
Together write a mission statement for your marriage.
A mission statement tells others what you see as your purpose and goals for your marriage.
Keep it short and concise. Sum it up in a few sentences.
Think both short-term and long-term
Don’t be too limiting. Give room to expand.
Revisit it and update as you go along.
Our Mission Statement
Dear Father, thank You so much for all You have given to us through this course. Revelations, growth, healing and so many precious gifts for our oneness. Now, Lord, please guide us and show us how to give. Please bless the work of our hands that will bring You glory. Equip us and let us experience the full life that comes from serving. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
Look for the four