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Married for Life
Coaches Version
Week 7 The Power of Spiritual Warfare
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WEEKLY PRAYER FOCUS
When the Coaching Team Meets to Pray
WEEK 7 – THE POWER OF SPIRITUAL INTIMACY
GOAL: For couples to understand why they should pray together, how to pray together, and the necessity for the Baptism of the Holy Spirit.
INSTRUCTION: Be prepared, following the meeting, to lead anyone who requests into the Baptism of the Holy Spirit. Be sensitive as to how the Holy Spirit would minister to each individual, sometimes He will do it publicly and at other times privately. He will lead you. There is a special anointing on 2=1 to help people receive their prayer language when they are baptized. We believe this is due to the fact that it is so important for couples to pray together, especially in the spirit. Walk in the might of that anointing as you minister.
PRAYER FOCUS: Continue praying for anyone in your group who still needs to receive the Baptism of the Holy Spirit. Begin seeking the Lord for the upcoming Leaders in Training couple for each group. Continue to pray specifically as the Holy Spirit directs. Pray that as your couples pray together, they will ask the Lord what their part in the financial giving should be.
Coaching Team:
Personal Prayer Needs
Ministry Prayer Needs
Notes from Prayer Time:
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WEEKLY COACHING TIPS
These are the suggested questions for the sharing time of last week’s lesson:
Week 6, The Power of Faith
Did faith become more real or more practical to you this week? If so, how? Is there any one area where you feel you really need to develop faith?
Share about your faith vision for your spouse. Was it tough to develop it or did you enjoy it? How about your faith vision together for your marriage and family?
A Word About Praying in the Spirit from Mike and Marilyn Phillipps
Several years ago we arranged for the rental of two buses to provide transportation during the annual convention. We soon discovered that to drive a bus required a chauffeur’s license. We explained to the officials that our men had excellent driving records and had transported people for us in the past, but that did not change the minds of the officials. They said that if they were going to be transporting people in a public conveyance such as a bus, they had to have a chauffeur’s license. They explained that the responsibility of driving a vehicle filled with passengers carried with it different requirements than just driving a car or a van. Since none of our leaders had a chauffeur’s license, we had to hire bus drivers that met the requirements stated by law.
When the officials insisted that those who drove the buses had to have a chauffeur’s license, were they telling us that our drivers were second-class citizens? Were they saying that our drivers had poor driving records? Were they saying that people with chauffeur’s licenses were somehow better than those who did not have them? Of course not. They were simply saying that driving a bus requires training and skills different than those needed to drive a car.
When people job hunt they discover that various jobs carry with them different requirements. Some require a college degree while others require experience in certain fields or with certain equipment. Do these requirements somehow say that those who do not have them are inferior to those who do? Would it be prudent to believe that employers who have certain requirements for hiring are prejudicial or elitist in their requirements? Of course not. The requirements they list, just as the chauffeur’s license, are based on the demands of the job. Without meeting the requirements, it would be extremely difficult to meet the demands of the job.
So it is with 2=1 leadership. Throughout the lessons that Coaching Couples teach there are multiple times when couples are encouraged to pray in the spirit. Week Four introduces the concept of praying together in the spirit in a strife break. Week Seven teaches couples the importance of praying together, both in their native language and in the spirit. This lesson introduces the Baptism of the Holy Spirit and tells couples that their coaching couple will pray with them if they would like to receive the Baptism and the gifts, including tongues. Week Eight teaches couples how to come into agreement by praying together in the spirit until they hear the same thing from the Lord.
Each one of these lessons requires leadership to do something they have experienced, not just what they have heard about. It is not enough to have a theoretical understanding. The men who drove the vans no doubt had a theoretical understanding of the concept of driving a bus. That was not enough for the passengers of the bus.
When we require that 2=1 leadership be baptized in the Holy Spirit and open to all the gifts, we are not saying they are better than others or that they have better gifts or are better Christians. There are many people who are not baptized in the Holy Spirit who have better marriages than some who are. They may also be much better church members or have sweeter dispositions or greater character development.
Being baptized in the Holy Spirit and being open to all the gifts of the Spirit are a job requirement for 2=1 coaches because they need that to teach their class. Both of us received the Baptism of the Holy Spirit without manifesting tongues. We both experienced blockages of different types that kept us from receiving what scripture makes evident comes with the package. We were surrounded by people, though, that knew the Word of God and encouraged us to seek the truth of the Word.
It is important that 2=1 coaches be willing to press through with couples, helping them to discover what is blocking the move of God in their lives. This is only possible when the Baptism of the Holy Spirit and the subsequent gift of tongues is not a theoretical concept but a vital part of the coach’s daily lives.
We highly recommend the Baptism of the Holy Spirit to everyone in the Body of Christ. It is a powerful tool in our arsenal of weapons, a vehicle of praise, and our “field phone” to our Commander in Chief, Jesus, in the heat of spiritual battle. We believe that every believer should have this gift as a personal benefit and blessing. We more than recommend it, though, for 2=1 coaches. For them, it is a job requirement.
Optional Resources
Optional teaching resources can be found here in each weekly coaching tips section.
These are optional, and if you are teaching via the internet, may be difficult to use. Its up to you as coaches’ to decide which ones to use (if any). You are welcome to create your own visual illustrations to demonstrate the principles of the lesson.
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A. Emphasis on Together.
1. This is perhaps the most important lesson of the whole Married for Life course.
a. All the other lessons are like bricks.
b. This lesson is like the mortar.
2. Many husbands and wives have active separate prayer lives.
a. We need individual prayer time each day.
b. Individual prayer is not sufficient for a couple.
3. The only way two can truly experience the spiritual intimacy God intends is for both to submit themselves to the guidance and direction of the Holy Spirit by praying together.
a. It is the most intimate thing a husband and wife can do together.
b. It is essential to the health of a marriage.
c. It takes dedication, practice, and consistency for a vibrant one-flesh prayer life.
B. Reasons for Praying Together.
C. Guidelines for Praying Together.
1. Follow guidelines when praying together.
a. Should be an intimate time between you, your spouse, and God.
b. Not a time to criticise your spouse’s prayers or discuss scriptural validity
1) A spouse constantly corrected or reprimanded during prayer time will be reluctant to pray out loud.
2) If you are guilty of doing this, you need to repent.
3) Resolve to seek unity in your prayer time together.
4) Allow God to bring about growth in your spouse’s prayer life.
c. Your attention to spouse’s prayer concerns will give you a better understanding of his/her relationship with God.
1) Learn to better understand the heart of your spouse.
2) It is a special privilege to sit in on that conversation with God. Don’t abuse it.
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Interactive
Have you tried to pray together? How has it gone?
Take a few minutes now and discuss it together as a couple. If you pray together consistently, discuss why you believe that is working for you.
If you have trouble praying together, consider some of the things just mentioned and discuss what you think you might change so that you could pray together more often.
(Time three minutes and then continue with the class)
Guidelines for Praying Together Pg 2
2. Together follow Paul’s example for prayer: “I will pray with the spirit, and I will pray with the understanding also” [1 Corinthians 14:15].
a. There is a time to pray in the spirit (tongues) and a time to pray with understanding (in our native language).
b. Praying with understanding together.
1) It takes more maturity than praying in the spirit together.
2) There can be a tendency to manipulate or correct.
a) (“Oh, Lord, please help my husband to stop smoking. You know how irritating that is to me – how it congests me and gives me a headache. You know, Lord, how often I’ve asked him to stop but does He care? If he really loved me, he’d stop,”)
b) (Oh, Lord, please help my wife to be a better lover. You know how cold she is to me and how frustrating that has been. You know I’ve done everything I know to do and it hasn’t helped. She says she’s trying, but I don’t see any real effort on her part. Lord, change her heart.”)
c) Sometimes praying with understanding can often carry messages to our partner disguised as requests to God.
3) Another conflict that can arise when we pray with understanding is the length of our prayer.
a) One spouse may desire to pray on and on while the other may feel that only a few words are necessary.
b) Many have ended their prayer time in strife and resolved not to attempt it again in the near future.
3. Enter into His presence with praise and worship.
a. Enter into His presence with praise [ Psalm 100:4].
b. The Lord inhabits the praises of His people [ Psalm 22:3].
c. Praise need not be formalized; just praise Him from your heart.
1) Just begin to praise and worship the Lord from your heart.
2) Allow the Holy Spirit to teach you.
3) Prayer will flow out of praise.
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Guidelines for Praying Together Pg 3
4. Praying with the understanding (your native language).
a. Use “Do not fret or have any anxiety about anything, but in every circumstance and in everything by prayer and petition definite requests with thanksgiving continue to make your wants known to God” [Philippians 4:6] as a guide.
1) Thank God for what He has provided and how He has cared.
2) Present to Him your needs and desires.
a) The Word says to present a petition.
b) It is good to write your requests down and keep track of answers to prayer.
3) When you are praying together, limit prayers to things which concern you as one-flesh.
a) Use your personal prayer time to cover individual concerns.
b) Examples: One has a burden for a specific political official. One has a burden for the starving of the world.
4) Discuss what these things will be before you begin praying.
b. Pray the Word [1 John 5:14-15].
1) We know we are praying God’s will.
2) It keeps our own opinions out of the prayer.
3) The Lord watches over His Word [Jeremiah 1:12]; it will not return to Him void [Isaiah 55:11].
c. Praying the Word is the same as expressing God’s faith vision for the person or situation.
5. The Word also tells us to pray in the Spirit (tongues).
a. One of the most significant things a husband and wife can do for their marriage.
b. We “edify and improve” our one-flesh life [1 Corinthians 14:4].
c. When two become one, it is essential that husband and wife be willing to submit themselves to the guidance and direction of the Holy Spirit.
1) He is able to blend and direct them into a greater depth of unity and power.
2) They experience more rapid growth and maturation on the spiritual level (spirit) as a result of their prayer time.
a) We can experience more rapid spiritual growth (spirit).
b) It can improve our communication (soul).
c) It can improve our sexual intimacy (body).
c. We submit our most unruly member, the tongue, to direction of Holy Spirit. [James 3:8]
1) As we submit to Him together, we enable Him to mould us and blend us as He desires [Romans 8:26-29].
2) We are praying according to the desires of the Spirit, so we are in agreement with God.
3) When we are in agreement with God, we, therefore, are in agreement with each other.
4) Praying God’s will in agreement brings it to pass in the earth [Matthew 18:19].
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Guidelines for Praying Together Pg 4
e. There may be resistance to praying together in tongues because it “sounds funny.”
1) Get over the embarrassment and into the fullness of God’s plan for you.
2) Pray in your prayer language frequently so that you become freer in it.
3) What better place to relax and become free than praying together in the privacy of your own home.
6. As a couple, make appointment daily with Jesus and keep it diligently.
a. Honour that appointment with the same commitment as any other appointment..
b. The enemy hates for couples to pray together and will use every trick to keep us from doing it.
c. Don’t just talk about it, think about it, or discuss it – DO IT!
7. It is going to take dedication to establish this new practice.
a. Even couples hurting too much to talk can pray together in the spirit and get their marriage healed.
b. One-flesh growth flows out of the strength of prayer time together.
8. The Baptism or Infilling of the Holy Spirit.
a. In order to pray in the spirit, we must receive tongues from the Holy Spirit.
b. The Word of God is clear regarding God’s desire.
c. If you have not received this gift or if you are not freely praying in tongues, take advantage of God’s offer to you.
d. If you are not aware of what we are talking about or if your church teaches that all of this is not for today, please consider the following from the Word of God.
(Please present the rest of this lesson by reading the following text. Be sensitive to the Holy Spirit’s direction. There may be some in your group that are ready to receive right away.
Others may need to be ministered to individually. Follow the guidance of the Spirit.)
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A SCRIPTURAL STUDY OF THE BASIS FOR THE BAPTISM OF THE HOLY SPIRIT.
Before His ascension into Heaven, Jesus told His disciples to wait in Jerusalem until they were baptized with the Holy Spirit [Acts 1:4-5].
Those to whom He was speaking had been born again when he came to them after His death and resurrection [John 20:22].
It was obvious from what Jesus was telling them in the first chapter of Acts, though, that there was another, separate experience available to them.
In Acts 1:8, Jesus promised them that they would receive power and become His witnesses to the ends of the earth. All of those who gathered to hear Jesus loved Him very much and had chosen to follow Him but they lacked courage and boldness. All of them had deserted Him when He was crucified with the exception of John and the women. Peter had even denied knowing Him. They obviously needed the power that it would take to live out their commitment to Him.
In Acts 2:1, all of the disciples were gathered in one place. Even Mary, the mother of Jesus was there. The Holy Spirit came upon them and they were filled with power. The first outward manifestation of this infilling was that they all began to speak in tongues as the Spirit enabled the [Acts 2:4].
These tongues were understood by people from all nations who were in Jerusalem for the feast of Pentecost. This speaking all together in tongues gave the disciples tremendous unity and power such as had not been seen on the earth since God confused the languages at the tower of Babel [Genesis 11:6-9].
When we speak as one and have one heart and purpose, there is power. Speaking in tongues provided for them (and for us) that unity they had not previously had. It enabled them, and now us, to come together with believers from all over the world, speaking different natural languages but speaking together in the spirit.
The second manifestation of the Baptism was the boldness with which the disciples began to proclaim the Gospel. These same people who had previously been so afraid and timid were now drawing large crowds with their preaching. They were suddenly not concerned with what the crowds thought of them or if they were in danger. They had received the power necessary to live the Christian life.
Be assured that Satan knows the power of this experience. He has done much down through the ages to discredit it. In some churches he has even convinced them to give him the credit for the outward manifestations of the Baptism of the Holy Spirit, tongues in particular. He has gotten many people to overlook the experience and to even scoff at it, much to their loss.
Without the Baptism of the Holy Spirit, we are very limited in what we can accomplish. We are not “plugged in” to the vital source of supernatural power that the Holy Spirit offers.
The Baptism or the Infilling of the Holy Spirit was not a one-time experience in the history of the church. Throughout the book of Acts, the same experience with the same manifestations occurred over and over again.
The first-century church moved in the spirit in a way that we often covet. Yet this same measure of power and authority is available to the church today if we would only receive it. If the Body of Christ were united today in the Holy Spirit power in which the first-century church moved, we would see victory and glory that we only dream of now. We can, however, begin in our home.
In each of our lives this power is available the same way it was available to each disciple on the day of Pentecost. We only need to reach out and take it.
In Luke 11:11-13, Jesus tells us that if we who are earthly know how to give our children good things, how much more then will the Father in Heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask Him. We know then that we must ask to receive. James tells us that we have not because we ask not [James 4:2].
The Baptism of the Holy Spirit is available to anyone who has asked Jesus to be their Lord and Saviour. We need only ask to be baptized in the Holy Spirit and He baptizes us. We can ask Him all by ourselves or we can ask other Spirit- filled Christians to lay hands on us and pray with us [Acts 8:17; Acts 19:6].
Know that when we ask, we receive. Take that promise and receive all that the Holy Spirit has for you.
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The tongues that we receive with the Baptism of the Holy Spirit is our own prayer language, not the Gift of Tongues.
The Gift of Tongues, one of the nine gifts of the Holy Spirit, is what Paul was talking about in 1 Corinthians 14:5, 1 Corinthians 14:13, 1 Corinthians 14:22-23. Scripture tells us that this gift must function in conjunction with the Gift of Interpretation to supernaturally deliver a word from God to the hearers [1 Corinthians 14:27-28].
The prayer language of tongues is what Paul was talking about in 1 Corinthians 14:4, 1 Corinthians 14: 14-15, 1 Corinthians 14:18-19. This is your personal prayer language which does not require interpretation [Romans 8:26-27].
If you do not understand the difference, please continue to study the scriptures and/or ask your leaders for help.
Be open for every gift God has for you. If tongues do not manifest readily when you receive the Baptism of the Holy Spirit, don’t decide that God does not want you to have that gift. Instead ask the Lord what is blocking your gift. It may simply be an intellectual argument or just embarrassment. It may, however, be something more serious such as previous involvement in occult activities (e.g. horoscopes, Ouija boards, automatic writing, etc.). When tongues do not manifest, we need to ask the Holy Spirit for discernment regarding the blockage.
We need, however, to be cautious that we remain in the spirit in our attempts to receive and not enter into fleshly activities. Tongues do not have to be forced. If they are being blocked, we need only discern the blockage and remove it. They will then readily flow. We do not have to repeat after someone else or move our head or tongues a certain way. Just surrender your tongue to Him to speak through you and He will do it.
That does not mean that you don’t make a sound and that God will supernaturally take over your speech. Very often you will become aware of words that are unfamiliar to you and you will tell yourself that they are nonsense.
Take a step of faith and speak them out. Once you have been obedient in surrendering your tongue, the Holy Spirit will begin supplying you with a whole new, beautiful language. Begin using that language to praise God and to tell Him of your love for Him. As you use your language daily you will begin to see it increase. That increase and frequent usage will bring you to Paul’s desire to “pray in the Spirit on all occasions” [Ephesians 6:18].
Tongues are not the only gift or even the most important gift that God has for you. We emphasis it here because your prayer language is such a vital part of an active prayer life. There are so many times when we do not know how to pray or when our own opinion is clouding our ability to freely hear from God.
We need the Holy Spirit to pray a powerful prayer through us, a prayer that is God’s perfect will for the situation. Our body has a voice and our spirit has one as well. Praying in the spirit allows our spirit to freely speak what God is saying.
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Expanded Teaching
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A. Emphasis on together
This is perhaps the most important lesson you will receive in this Married for Life course. If each of the other lessons were thought of as bricks, this lesson would be the mortar. It cannot be emphasized enough how important it is for couples to pray together. Each spouse may have an active prayer life of his or her own, but that is not enough for a couple. It is equally essential that they have consistent prayer time together as one-flesh. Praying together is the only way that two can truly experience the spiritual intimacy God intends, as both spouses submit themselves to the guidance and direction of the Holy Spirit.
When husband and wife pray together consistently, they reach a level of intimacy not found anywhere else in marriage. It is even more intimate than their sexual union. The intimacy and nurturing of prayer together is essential for the good health of a marriage. It is this depth of intimacy, in fact, that makes it most difficult for couples to maintain an active joint prayer life. It takes dedication, practice, and consistency to maintain a vibrant one-flesh prayer life.
B. Reasons for praying together
Many people have friends who are their prayer partners, someone they meet with regularly to pray. In our own spouse, though, God has provided an intimate prayer partner for each of us, someone who is intended to be closer to us than anyone else on earth. He has told us that where two or more gather in His name there He is in the midst of us [Matthew 18:20]. We need to take advantage, as a couple, of the power we have in agreement, learning to bring His will to pass on earth [Matthew 18:19].
In next week’s lesson we will be covering agreement in detail. It is important that we know how to come into agreement as a couple.
When we pray together we also have been given the power to increase our ability in spiritual warfare exponentially [Leviticus 26:8]. We have power praying separately, but using the principles of God’s Word and the synergism of one-flesh, together our power is multiplied. As we learn to blend as one in the power of the Spirit, we increase our warfare ability. We have been given authority in Jesus to tear down strongholds and to break satanic holds:
“I use God’s mighty weapons, not those made by men, to knock down the devil’s strongholds. These weapons can break down every proud argument against finding Him. With these weapons I can capture rebels and bring them back to God and change them into men whose heart’s desire is obedience to Christ” [2 Corinthians 10:4-5 TLB].
We need to learn to patrol our hedge together as husband and wife [Job 1:10]. Lesson 10 will deal with one-flesh spiritual warfare. As we learn to combine our power and effort, we will find that multiplication of ability of which the scripture speaks.
C. Guidelines for praying together Page 1
There are certain guidelines to follow as you set out to blend together in prayer. Praying together should be a beautiful time of intimacy between a couple and God. It is not a time to criticize or critique your spouse’s prayers. It is not a time to discuss the scriptural validity of prayers. A spouse constantly corrected or reprimanded during prayer time will be reluctant to pray out loud.
Perhaps you have been guilty of doing this in the past. If so, you need to repent and resolve to let God be the One who brings about growth in your spouse after all, it is He to whom your spouse is speaking in prayer, not you. You are privileged to sit in on that special conversation. Treat it with the respect it is due. Allow your joint prayer time to enable you to better understand your spouse’s heart. As your spouse shares his or her concerns, you will have greater insight into his or her relationship with the Lord.
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Interactive
Have you tried to pray together? How has it gone?
Take a few minutes now and discuss it together as a couple. If you pray together consistently, discuss why you believe that is working for you.
If you have trouble praying together, consider some of the things just mentioned and discuss what you think you might change so that you could pray together more often.
(Time three minutes and then continue with the class)
Guidelines for praying together Page 2
The Apostle Paul said, “…I will pray with the spirit, and I will pray with the under- standing also” [1 Corinthians 14:15 KJV].
This example is a good one for us to follow in our prayer time. There is a time for us to pray in the spirit (tongues) and a time for us to pray with understanding (in our native language). It is, as a rule, however, much more difficult for a couple to pray together with understanding than to pray together in the spirit. It takes a good deal more spiritual maturity to pray together with understanding and not manipulate or correct each other with the prayer.
“Oh, Lord, please help my husband to stop smoking. You know how irritating that is to me – how it congests me and gives me a headache. You know, Lord, how often I’ve asked him to stop but does He care? If he really loved me, he’d stop,” or “Oh, Lord, please help my wife to be a better lover. You know how cold she is to me and how frustrating that has been. You know I’ve done everything I know to do and it hasn’t helped. She says she’s trying, but I don’t see any real effort on her part. Lord, change her heart.” Sound familiar?
Prayer with understanding can often carry messages to our partner disguised as requests to God.
Another conflict that can arise when we pray with understanding is the length of our prayer. Sometimes one spouse may desire to pray on and on for a given need while the other spouse feels that a shorter prayer would cover the topic. One may be extremely burdened for a given person or situation and the other may have little or no burden. When we pray with understanding we can often struggle over these issues. Many a couple has ended their prayer time in strife and resolved not to attempt it again in the near future.
When we enter into prayer together as a couple there are some important guidelines to follow that can keep us out of these conflicts. First of all, prayer time should begin with praise and worship of our Lord. The Word tells us to enter into the presence of the Lord with praise [Psalm 100:4], and that the Lord inhabits the praises of His people [Psalm 22:3]. Repeatedly throughout scripture we are instructed to praise the Lord. Praise and worship do not need to be a formalized program. We have become conditioned that praise and worship must be led by a team and follow a certain order. Just begin to praise and worship the Lord from your heart and allow the Holy Spirit to teach you. You will be greatly blessed as you enter into His presence. Prayer will flow out of praise.
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Guidelines for praying together Page 3
When praying with understanding, follow the instruction of the Apostle Paul, “Do not fret or have any anxiety about anything, but in every circumstance and in everything by prayer and petition definite requests with thanksgiving continue to make your wants known to God” [Philippians 4:6 Amp].
The Word says to present a petition. If you write down your requests, you can date them and then record the answers you receive. This orderly record of your prayer time will greatly encourage you as you see how mighty God has been on your behalf.
It is also very important that prayer with understanding be limited to those things which are of mutual concern to both husband and wife.
Individual prayer time should be used for those strictly personal concerns such as countries, causes, or specific people for which God has burdened us to pray. Joint prayer-time should focus on those people or situations that you are interceding for together. Discuss what these things will be before you enter into prayer. It is not difficult to find mutual prayer concerns. Do not concentrate on the ones you are not burdened for together or criticize your spouse for not wanting to pray for what concerns you. Instead, concentrate on the ones you hold in common.
When praying with understanding, it is essential to pray the Word of God for the people and situations [1 John 5:14,15]. When we pray the Word, know we are praying the will of God and we keep our own opinions out of the prayer time. We will not tend to manipulate or correct if we stick with the Word. We know from scripture that the Lord is “watching over” His Word [Jeremiah 1:12 ] and that the Word “… shall not return to Him…void” [Isaiah 55:11].
Praying the Word is the same as expressing God’s faith vision for the person or situation. We also are instructed from the Word to pray in the spirit (tongues). We firmly believe that praying together in the spirit is the one most significant thing a husband and wife can do for the benefit of their marriage. We cannot give you chapter and verse on this one, but we have seen the tremendous fruit that has come out of praying together in the spirit in thousands of marriages.
According to 1 Corinthians 14:4, when one prays in the spirit, he edifies himself. When we pray in the spirit together, we edify our one-flesh life. All three areas of our life together as a couple (spirit, soul, and body) change and improve as we submit our spirits to the leadership of the Holy Spirit. When two become one, it is essential that husband and wife be willing to submit themselves to the guidance and direction of the Holy Spirit. As each spouse submits to Him, He is able to blend and direct them into a greater depth of unity and power. They experience more rapid growth and maturation on the spiritual level (spirit) as a result of their prayer time. Our level of communication (soul) grows deeper and more meaningful as we consistently pray together in the spirit. Because spiritual intimacy is even greater than physical intimacy, our sex life (body) improves as we grow closer in the spirit realm.
There are several reasons for this growth. When we pray together in the spirit (tongues) we are both submitting our most unruly member, our tongue, to the direction of the Holy Spirit [James 3:8]. As we submit to Him together, we enable Him to mould us and blend us as He desires [Romans 8:26-29].
Because we are praying according to the desires of the Spirit, we know we are in agreement with God to see His will brought to pass on the earth. We know that when we are both in agreement with God, we are in agreement with each other. Flowing together in consistent agreement in our prayer time will overflow into the other areas of our relationship. We can be assured that when we are speaking the will of God as one, we will see it come to pass [Matthew 18:19].
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Guidelines for praying together Page 4
Perhaps one of the biggest blocks to a couple praying together in tongues is that they think it “sounds funny.” We all need to get over that embarrassment and into the fullness of God’s plan for us.
You need to be free in your prayer language and be comfortable using it. The more often you use it, the freer you will become. What better place to relax and be- come free than praying together in the privacy of your own home. Make an appointment daily to meet with Jesus and pray as a couple. Honour that appointment with the same commitment you would honour any other appointment.
The enemy hates for couples to pray together. He will do anything to keep us from coming together in prayer. Don’t fall for his tricks. Don’t just talk about it, think about it, or discuss it, just DO IT!
It is going to take dedication to establish this new practice. Couples who are hurting too much to even speak to each other can pray together in the spirit and receive healing in their marriage. It is important to remember that much of our one-flesh growth flows out of our prayer time together as a couple.
In order that we may pray in the spirit, we must be free in the use of the tongues the Lord has given us. This gift is received with the infilling of the Holy Spirit and the Word of God is very clear regarding His desire for us in this matter. If you have not received this gift or if you are not freely praying in tongues, take advantage of God’s offer to you. If you are not aware of what we are talking about or if your church teaches that all of this is not for today, please consider the following from the Word of God.
(Please present the rest of this lesson by reading the following text. Be sensitive to the Holy Spirit’s direction. There may be some in your group that are ready to receive right away.
Others may need to be ministered to individually. Follow the guidance of the Spirit.)
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A SCRIPTURAL STUDY OF THE BASIS FOR THE BAPTISM OF THE HOLY SPIRIT.
Before His ascension into Heaven, Jesus told His disciples to wait in Jerusalem until they were baptized with the Holy Spirit [Acts 1:4,5].
Those to whom He was speaking had been born again when he came to them after His death and resurrection [John 20:22].
It was obvious from what Jesus was telling them in the first chapter of Acts, though, that there was another, separate experience available to them.
In Acts 1:8, Jesus promised them that they would receive power and become His witnesses to the ends of the earth. All of those who gathered to hear Jesus loved Him very much and had chosen to follow Him but they lacked courage and boldness. All of them had deserted Him when He was crucified with the exception of John and the women. Peter had even denied knowing Him. They obviously needed the power that it would take to live out their commitment to Him.
In Acts 2:1, all of the disciples were gathered in one place. Even Mary, the mother of Jesus was there. The Holy Spirit came upon them and they were filled with power. The first outward manifestation of this infilling was that they all began to speak in tongues as the Spirit enabled the [Acts 2:4].
These tongues were understood by people from all nations who were in Jerusalem for the feast of Pentecost. This speaking all together in tongues gave the disciples tremendous unity and power such as had not been seen on the earth since God confused the languages at the tower of Babel [Genesis 11:6-9].
When we speak as one and have one heart and purpose, there is power. Speaking in tongues provided for them (and for us) that unity they had not previously had. It enabled them, and now us, to come together with believers from all over the world, speaking different natural languages but speaking together in the spirit.
The second manifestation of the Baptism was the boldness with which the disciples began to proclaim the Gospel. These same people who had previously been so afraid and timid were now drawing large crowds with their preaching. They were suddenly not concerned with what the crowds thought of them or if they were in danger. They had received the power necessary to live the Christian life.
Be assured that Satan knows the power of this experience. He has done much down through the ages to discredit it. In some churches he has even convinced them to give him the credit for the outward manifestations of the Baptism of the Holy Spirit, tongues in particular. He has gotten many people to overlook the experience and to even scoff at it, much to their loss.
Without the Baptism of the Holy Spirit, we are very limited in what we can accomplish. We are not “plugged in” to the vital source of supernatural power that the Holy Spirit offers.
The Baptism or the Infilling of the Holy Spirit was not a one-time experience in the history of the church. Throughout the book of Acts, the same experience with the same manifestations occurred over and over again.
The first-century church moved in the spirit in a way that we often covet. Yet this same measure of power and authority is available to the church today if we would only receive it. If the Body of Christ were united today in the Holy Spirit power in which the first-century church moved, we would see victory and glory that we only dream of now. We can, however, begin in our home.
In each of our lives this power is available the same way it was available to each disciple on the day of Pentecost. We only need to reach out and take it.
In Luke 11:11-13, Jesus tells us that if we who are earthly know how to give our children good things, how much more then will the Father in Heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask Him. We know then that we must ask to receive. James tells us that we have not because we ask not [James 4:2].
The Baptism of the Holy Spirit is available to anyone who has asked Jesus to be their Lord and Saviour. We need only ask to be baptized in the Holy Spirit and He baptizes us. We can ask Him all by ourselves or we can ask other Spirit- filled Christians to lay hands on us and pray with us [Acts 8:17; Acts 19:6].
Know that when we ask, we receive. Take that promise and receive all that the Holy Spirit has for you.
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The tongues that we receive with the Baptism of the Holy Spirit is our own prayer language, not the Gift of Tongues.
The Gift of Tongues, one of the nine gifts of the Holy Spirit, is what Paul was talking about in 1 Corinthians 14:5,13,22,23. Scripture tells us that this gift must function in conjunction with the Gift of Interpretation to supernaturally deliver a word from God to the hearers [1 Corinthians 14:27,28].
The prayer language of tongues is what Paul was talking about in 1 Corinthians 14:4, 14, 15, 18, 19. This is your personal prayer language which does not require interpretation [Romans 8:26,27].
If you do not understand the difference, please continue to study the scriptures and/or ask your leaders for help.
Be open for every gift God has for you. If tongues do not manifest readily when you receive the Baptism of the Holy Spirit, don’t decide that God does not want you to have that gift. Instead ask the Lord what is blocking your gift. It may simply be an intellectual argument or just embarrassment. It may, however, be something more serious such as previous involvement in occult activities (e.g. horoscopes, Ouija boards, automatic writing, etc.). When tongues do not manifest, we need to ask the Holy Spirit for discernment regarding the blockage.
We need, however, to be cautious that we remain in the spirit in our attempts to receive and not enter into fleshly activities. Tongues do not have to be forced. If they are being blocked, we need only discern the blockage and remove it. They will then readily flow. We do not have to repeat after someone else or move our head or tongues a certain way. Just surrender your tongue to Him to speak through you and He will do it.
That does not mean that you don’t make a sound and that God will supernaturally take over your speech. Very often you will become aware of words that are unfamiliar to you and you will tell yourself that they are nonsense.
Take a step of faith and speak them out. Once you have been obedient in surrendering your tongue, the Holy Spirit will begin supplying you with a whole new, beautiful language. Begin using that language to praise God and to tell Him of your love for Him. As you use your language daily you will begin to see it increase.
That increase and frequent usage will bring you to Paul’s desire to “pray in the Spirit on all occasions” [Ephesians 6:18].
Tongues are not the only gift or even the most important gift that God has for you. We emphasis it here because your prayer language is such a vital part of an active prayer life. There are so many times when we do not know how to pray or when our own opinion is clouding our ability to freely hear from God.
We need the Holy Spirit to pray a powerful prayer through us, a prayer that is God’s perfect will for the situation. Our body has a voice and our spirit has one as well. Praying in the spirit allows our spirit to freely speak what God is saying.